More to love…

Usually on Wednesday the week seems to be taking forever, and it feels like Friday is never going to get here. But, it always does, and once again it’s friday.

I didn’t get up to workout this morning. My husband woke up when my alarm went off for the gym, and talked me into staying in bed with him and um….canoodling. I’ll take it.  Plus, I’ll just workout tomorrow, instead of taking my normal saturday off. We’ll be at my parents house, and thye live in a really hilly area so it will be easy to get some good cardio in.

I told myself that I wouldn’t take my measurements until the 10th of everymonth, but this morning I just got so tempted to check them again. I did, and i’m still losing inches, but not in my legs. at all. I’m chalkng that up to muscle building first. But I have lost, other places, and I can’t wait to see what my measurements are in a few weeks when I take my measurements officially.

This week, I incorporated a few of the tricks that the trainer taught me last week, and it really challenged me. Keeping my heart rate up during my free weights workout.

I’m looking forward to going home and spending time with my family. But I so want my mother to comment on my weight loss and how good I look. It’s funny how one still seeks approval as an adult, from their parents.

With October knocking at the door, the stores have alreayd stocked up on haloween candy. My arch nemesis, bite size chocolate. One would think that with prepackaged portion control, I would be able to control it..uh…not.

This pretty much sums up the crux of my eating problems. I am( was) a chronic binge eater. It started as a child, I absolutely could not control myself around food. No, not food, sugar. Which is ironic, because my parents didn’t keep lots of sugar in the house, but enough that we got a few cookies in our lunch boxes, or maybe a popsicle here or there. But we weren’t a dessert everynight kind of family, we didn’t keep soda, sugar cereal, or anything else like that in the house. But, as I said, there was always something, and I wanted it. I would search through the house “sneaking” food.  I would look everywhere until I found it, and then I would eat it. Not just one, of whatever it was, but probably two or three servings, at least. And then I would feel shame. Especially when I got caught. So, to be honest, I’m not sure wht spurred it. I’ve toyed around with the idea that it started when my parents seperated. But they only seperated for about  a year, got back together and ahve a great marriage today. And it went on longer than their seperation. I was an active child, I had soccer or gymanstics, almost every day of the week. But I was still chubby. I have long since come to terms with the fact that my body type is “big.”  I am big boned. I know that is a cop-out for many people, but for me it’s the case. I wear size 10 shoe,  I can’t wrap my fingers of one hand around my opposite wrist, no matter how much I weigh, and shoulder pads have made me look like a football player since I was 8 (you know, when they were in). Either way, I couldn’t control my eating, not until college, when a friend pointed out to me that I had an eating disorder. Oh. duh.

and since then it’s been better, but during Halloween, when their are aisles and aisle and aisles of candy, and the office candy bowl is full of bite size chocolates, that I struggle the most. I’ll be ok. I don’t fail often, but it’s an internal battle, everyday.

I was thinking about it the other day, and this is the first time in my life that I am ACTUALLY eating healthily. I was thinking back the other day, to a few months ago when  I was working out, and my eating habits were so much different. and you know? All that crap you read about how getting healthy makes you feel..it’s true. I feel lighter (13 pounds to be exact) but it’s more than just weight. I feel like I have energy. I feel like my body is full of good things and not processed packaged food!

Well, It’s tuesday, and my weigh in day. I’ve lost another pound. I’m pretty steadily moving down about a pound a week. Which satisfies me. I’m just hoping that the scale doesn’t stall. I”m still working on my relationship with the scale as well. But only 2 more pounds to my mini goal. Woot woot!

I tried a new breakfast this morning, I replaced my instant oatmeal, with instant Kashi hot cereal. It has about 4 more grahams of protein per packet! But it wasn’t as yummy as oatmeal.

So, I started my period yesterday. This is the too much information section, PS. This past month I switched birth control methods/formulas. Usually I would start the day I quit taking hormones or even before, but with this one, it had been 5 days since the end of the hormones, and I was getting nervous. I don’t usually worry about late periods, being as getting pregnant now would no longer be quite the crisis situation it once was, but I thought maybe something had slipped through the cracks (oh wow, I am so punny). And it got me to thinking, what if I am pregnant, that would be great, a little unexpected, and not quite in our plan at the moment. but more importantly than that, I want to be in much better shape when I get pregnant. The women in my family have a tendency to gain quite a bit of weight with pregnancy, and then have a heck of a time keeping it off. My mother ran marathons when she got pregnant with me, had my brother two years later, and struggled to lose the weight ever since.  She did start losing a couple of years ago, and is in great shape again, but after being overweight for so long, it will always be different for her. I am not in marathon running shape. Not even close, and I would love to be in much better shape before we start having children.

Well, It was a pretty good weekend. Went to the 5k! wow. I had no idea how many women would be there. I understand now why they have one wave of runners only. Everyone else, there are just so many walkers, that even if you wanted to jog (which was my plan) you spend your time weaving through people, and you can’t get into a rhythm. so…we power walked it. It took some of the challenge out of it, but it was still great.

 I got my hair cut, and I super like it. It’s still a bob, but more a-line and stacked in the back. 

i’m a little nervous about weighing in tomorrow. Which I should’nt be. I promised myself last week that I wouldn’t be a slave to the scale. My measurements and body fat are more important, but I’m still learning to have a healthy relationship with the scale.

I started on the next (harder) week of my 5k training program. I wasn’t able to complete it all the way. Actually, I think I could have, but I still want to take it wasy on my shin splints. But I think i’lll just gradually increase to all of the running minutes, and then spend two weeks on this week.

My sister in law and I decided that it is our goal to Run (the whole way) an 8k next october. I think I can manage more than a year ot run 5 miles, but that would just be such an accomlishment!

Well, I skipped my morning workout. BUT only to rest up for the 5k tomorrow. Which, of course will be plenty of workout. but, the lack of getting up to excercise has made it SOOO much harder for me to wake up and focus. I guess getting about 3 hours less sleep then normal added to it.  I was the Designated Driver for a bachelor party last night. Dropped off my husband and a bunch of his old fraternity buddies at a bar, and then went to pick them up later.  NEED MORE SLEEP. I will be going to bed early tonight, gettting plenty of rest before my 5k.

Need sleep, but must work!

Ah, wednesday.

Well, I did my second work out with the trainer this morning. SHE KICKED MY BUTT. Seriously. I don’t think my heart rate has ever been up consistenly like that during a strength workout. It was great. I felt like I had just done an hour of cardio.  So, I learned some new things, which was great, and we worked out in the main area of the gym. I usually work out in the women’s only area, but in the main area, there are tons better machines. I should keep that in mind!

Anyway, I talked it over with different people in my life, and I would like to have a personal trainer, just for that little extra ya know? I think I need them more for learning about technique and new machines, than I do for motivation. I’m movtivated this time. anyway..she worked me hard. wow.

 Also, I figured with my inches lost, I would try on a pair of pants that purchased, that had recently become a little bit too tight and uncomfortable to wear. They made me feel like a sausage, stuffed in to a casing. Anyway, I tried them on last night, and they fit! Perfectly. Which is great, cause they were pretty pricey work pants and I really really like them! Woooohoo! I will be a little sad when they get to big, but only becuase I like them.

yay! Also, husband and i might both invest in “body buggs” (the grey things on the Biggest Loser contestants arms). We have a friend who uses one, and she says it was the best thing she ever did. hmmm. We’ll see.

So, I joined the gym a month and half ago. I have lost 12 (as of today) pounds and 6.2 inches in that time. Well, part of my gym membership is to get one free consultation with a trainer. Well I had this morning and learned some very interesting things.

I currently have 41% body fat. Gross. That number matters to me the most. More than the scale ever could. I have 107 pounds of fat on my body. WOWZA. Let me tell you, if you ever want an eye opener, get your body fat tested.

Anyway, so really this free consultation is a sales pitch for personal training. Now, if I were to ever spend my money on a weight loss tool (other than my gym membership) it would be on a personal trainer, a professional person (not pill) who knows what they are talking about.  I guess one way to look at is, I would go to the doctor if I were sick, I wouldn’t try to heal my self.  Should I try to do this weight loss on my own?

I wouldn’t mind having a trainer, but here are my two dilemmas : 1. The money. It would cost about 1000 for 6 weeks of training, working out 3x a week with my trainer. I don’t have an extra thousand dollars laying around. It cost about half that to work out with the trainer for 6 weeks, only 1x a week. I was upfront with the trainer this morning about my budget, and that right now, it might not work out for me. She sad that was ok, and invited me a full hour of training tomorrow. I don’t think I can afford it right now, it might be something I save up for, and I’m looking forward to my workout tomorrow, so I can steal the workout she gives me. We did a little bit of working out today, we did some machines that I have never done before, so  think it will be good for that.  Anyway, that is my dilemma.

 I think I will start saving up for a trainer…I know it would be helpful, and I would like to do this correctly.

On a different note, I did lose another pound this week! that makes it 12 total, and only 3 more pounds till my mini goal. I am going to my parents house in two weeks, an I would love to make my mini goal by then! It is amazing, I seek approval on my appearence from my parents more than anyone else.

Well, after a week off from running, in hopes of healing my shin splints, I hopped on the treadmill (actually it was more of a slow trudge) and start out for the third week (again) of the Couch to 5k plan. And I did it. I did all of my running and walking, plus an extra 10 minus of uphill walking. And my shin only hurts slightly. I think I can ease back into it. But I am going ot keep Icing, and taking anti-inflammatories to help with the pain.  I know that if I was lighter it would be easier to hop on the treadmill and just…jog a couple of miles, but I am going to do it.

Speaking of 5k’s, I am doing one on saturday! It’s not going to be running (as i can only jog about a mile right now, not 3.1) it will be a brisk walk, with a little bit of jogging. I think to rest up for that, I’m not going to do my normal cardio on friday, and do Pilates instead.

Tomorrow is weigh in day…dun dun dun. I am pretty sure that I will have lost another pound, or at least maintained, and even if I have gained a pound or two, that will be ok. At least that is what I am trying to tell my self.

But, I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s not all about weight. I took my measurements this weekend ,and i’ve lost 6.2 inches total. Wooowee. That is great. I think I would like to make a mini goal of 10 inches.

Well, I suppose I should start working now, being as it is monday!

Well, this weekend has been kind of rough for me.  Emotionally, physically etc. We had to make a tough decision, and it has really taken a toll on me.

I stayed with in my caloric goals, but I don’t think I ate ANY fruits or veggies yesterday and I just feel like one big carb ball. Ick.

But today is a new day, and I can get back on track. We are having a bbq at my in-laws today. As i’ve mentioned before they are not so into health or fruits and veggies, so I will need to bring some of my own, which I fully intend on doing. I’m also supposed to be brining desert, so I really should get off my butt and go to the store!